Review: Lucas Park Grille in St. Louis

Ain’t nothing changed. Doesn’t matter if you’re 16 or 36. You hit certain nightspots for the sublime entertainment of being an exhibitionist or voyeur. (I mean those in an innocent
way, guttermind.)

At 16, you cruised the Ronnies-to-Hooters South Lindbergh Boulevard loop in a blue ‘71 Dodge Dart to be conspicuous, or, conversely, to observe the more conspicuous in an orange ’79 Corvette with t-tops. Now you troll The STL’s bars in a blazer and white Pumas to be noticed and to notice the girl who, in a fit of confusing modesty, has taped shut her v-neck blouse with a too-big LOOK-AT-ME V.

In short, you did – and still do – laps. Laps around the boulevard then; laps around the bar now. Show-off laps to incite a “Yo! Who is that?”

It’s not easy for a St. Louis bar to be labeled a See and Be Seen nightspot. While big crowds are important, only when big crowds are coupled with clear sight lines can you attract the town’s conspicuous bar-goers. The Lucas Park Grille & Market, dubbed THE See and Be Seen nightspot in the 2005 Sauce readers’ poll, hits the mark. It’s got the crowds. It’s got the sightlines.

Remember this? “When word of [Lucas Park Grille] gets out, huge social scene success is inevitable.” Yeah, I wrote that in my initial column on Lucas Park last December. Apparently, with or without my help, a mere six months later, word is out. The 25-to-45-year-old, well-heeled, well-dressed, professional set just can’t get enough of this place and its increasingly urbane Washington Avenue locale. Weekend nights are almost always packed. Why, you ask? Well, it all comes down to five simple reasons, all revolving around exhibitionism and voyeurism, hereafter known as E&V.

1) The large, rectangular bar, accessible on all four sides. Anchoring the middle of the room, the bar serves as the infield of the Lucas Park E&V track. Patrons cruise the loop between the bar and tables all night. While lapping the bar, you pass 90 percent of the bar-goers. The crowd annoyingly clumps in some areas, but the track is always navigable.

When ordering a Shiner Bock from one side, you can clearly see the two blondes giggling on the opposite side. When rounding the northeast corner, you know the three guys at the fireplace table can clearly see you, your new hair color and your friend’s plunging neck-line. When decelerating on the bar’s west-side straightaway, you can completely stop in front of the window table of security traders and play demure. When rounding the bar’s west side, you can grab a handful of mints as prop for conversation with the tall brunette you saw on the bar’s east side during lap No. 3.

2) The small, raised lounge, accessible only by steps. Hidden in the southwest corner of Lucas Park, the mini-lounge with tables, a fireplace and a flat-screen provides an excellent respite – a pit stop, if you will – from the E&V track. A friend put it best: “Periodically hitting the mini-lounge lets you jump off the bar loop so no one catches on that you’re actually on the bar loop.” (Appearances – from what you’re wearing to how on the make you seem – are incredibly important on the E&V loop.) Climb the steps and face the bar to scout who you want to notice you on the next lap or who you’d like to flirt with. If you’re really looking for some attention, walk up to the section’s north-side rail and just stand there. Walkers on the E&V track’s western straightaway will have to be blind to not notice you.

3) Tall furniture. In addition to looking quite good, nearly all of Lucas Park’s seating (tables, chairs, benches, stools) allows one to be at eye level with those who are standing. This is incredibly important when you’re on or observing the E&V track. If the chairs and tables were at normal height, it’d be much more difficult to see who was walking by and who was sitting. Being at eye level makes your leering much less noticeable. You don’t have to tilt your head up or down. All the E&V can take place by simple eye movement.

4) High-visibility valet parking. When you pull up to the free valet in your new, candy-painted Infiniti G35 whip, every single person on the north side of the bar can see you and your beautiful car. Damn, you’re cool. With the bar’s north walls (facing Washington Avenue) being all glass, they HAVE to see you. Wink.

5) Huge crowds. This should go without stating, but without a large number of patrons to see/be seen, the E&V track
wouldn’t exist.